Tears of an angel
by romanoew
Summary: During New Moon. Edward has left Bella. This story is a oneshot about Bella and her thoughts at three moments in the book. First, in the forest. Second, at the Cullens house. Third, on the cliff. Bella POV. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. R&R.


"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

The echo of his voice made my body shaking. His words tore up a hole in my chest and I couldn't breath. I felt the whole world collapse beneath me, when I lay there in the forrest. I was cold, wet and.. broken. My life was ending. Right here. Right now. I had nothing to live for.

_Cover my eyes_

_Cover my ears_

_Tell me these words are a lie  
_

"You're not good for me, Bella."

It shouldn't have surprised me. I had always know that I'm not good for him. I was nothing - he was everything. I didn't deserve him. But I thought his love for me was as strong as mine. I always thought that it would be we forever. Like forever forever. I wanted to become like him, I wanted to live with him forever.

_It can't be true_

_That I'm losing you_

_The sun can not fall from the sky  
_

"It will be as if I'd never existed."

Maybe I'm a human, but I won't forget. He's the best thing that ever had happened to me - and that ever will happen. I won't be happy again. I won't feel love again. I won't fell in love again. I'm in love with him, and I will always be in love with him. He's the love of my life. My meaning of being alive. Am I dead now? Physically - No. But mentally - Yes. I am dead. I don't care if he doesn't want me anymore - I won't ever love somebody else.

_Can you hear heaven cry_

_Tears of an angel_

_Tears of aaaaaaaa..._

_Tears of an angel_

_Tears of an angel  
_

The darkness fell and the world went as black as my life. No meaning.. My life has no meaning. Not at all. He made me complete. He left me empty. I don't know how I'll survive this. I don't even know if I want to survive this. The only thing I want is to be with him. I want him to love me as I love him. But it will never happen. He won't come back. It's over. Life is over.

* * *

I don't know what I'm doing here. It's not good for me to be here, not at all. Everything that has to do with them isn't good for me. But I had to remember. I don't allow myself to forget about the best time of my life with my.. family. The pain in my chest took over completely and I fell. When he was here, he used to catch me. But now he's not, and I fell to the ground.

_Stop every clock_

_Stars are in shock_

_The river will flow to the sea_

I haven't been here since my last birthday. I feels like years ago, although it also feels like yesterday. Years or yesterday - it was another time. A happier time. The happiest time of my life. A time when I had everything I wanted and needed. A time when I could breath, laugh and smile. A time when I was whole. There was no holes, no pain and no nightmares.

_  
I won't let you fly_

_I won't say goodbye_

_I won't let you slip away from me_

I was wondering what he's up to right now. Is he happy? Has he forget? Or does he misses me? I bet he doesn't. I'm nothing to miss. Nothing special. I'm only Bella - a clumsy human. He left me because he didn't want me anymore, so why would he misses me?

_Can you hear heaven cry_

_Tears of an angel_

_Tears of aaaaaaaa..._

_Tears of an angel_

_Tears of an angel_

I decided to get up. If I lay here so much longer I would be sick. And to be in bed for days wouldn't be good for me. I looked at the house once, before I went over to my truck and pulled off. I was crying, without tears as I drove away from the house and the memories. I shouldn't have been there. It had only made the hole in my chest bigger. I missed them. I missed my life._  


* * *

So hold on_

_Be strong  
_

I was standing on the cliff, waited for his voice to tell me to go away. I wouldn't listen to it. Why should I? Cliffdiving.. It sounds fun. I took a step closer the edge of the cliff. The rain poured and made me wet. Then I could hear it. His voice.

_  
Little one don't let go_

_Don't let go_

_Don't let go_

I smiled. I stood at the edge now. I closed my eyes and prepared to take the last step - out of the cliff. I took a deep breath before I jumped. I felt the wind whistling in my ears as I fell. I hit the water and it was so much colder than I had expected. And before I could do something about it the waves grabbed me. I couldn't move as the waves threw me around in the icy cold and black water. I heard his voice, felt his touch and saw his beautiful face. Maybe I'm going to drown, but for the first time in a very long time - I felt happiness.

_  
Cover my eyes_

_Cover my ears_

_Tell me these words are a lie_

"I love you, Edward."

And then everything went black.

* * *

That's it, I hoped you liked it :) My English isn't the best, I know.. But I really tried.  
Please review and tell me what you think, either you liked it or not.  
The song in this story is Tears of an angel by RyanDan, I think it's a beautiful song.

And Denise, just like my other stories in English - this is for you. I translate them only because of you. I hoped you liked it. And please, write a stooory! Hihi. I love you hunny, so much! The best thing about Twilight is that it brought us together.

xoxo Ew


End file.
